Sex is great. Thatâs just a fact that no one can dispute. However, all theÂ paraphernalia that goes alongside this great actÂ of all humankind? Not so much.
Take condoms for example.Â As a contraceptive option and a way to curtail STIs & STDs, they are great. Naturally, given our propensity to use them and actually enjoy the act, experimentations regarding their shape, form and secondary functions have been aplenty. But clearly, there have been instances where things went a little out of hand (bazinga!).
Flavoured condoms, for instance, is something thatâs just beyond us. We get the appeal of stuff like chocolates, strawberries and bubblegum, but who came up with the bright idea of making a ginger-flavoured condom? Or for that matter, one that tastes likeÂ Chicken Tikka Masala? I mean, what were they even thinking?
And then, there is the whole debate onÂ whether flavoured condoms are safe or not. There have been numerous reports which state that flavoured condoms mess up the pH level of your partnerâs nether regions, which may cause all sorts of issues, starting from difficulty in getting wet, rashes, or even irritation.
So, before you fancy getting a little playful and get a craving for involving someÂ Hyderabadi BiryaniÂ in your bed tonight, consult your partner. In the meantime, have a look at how creative we, as a species, have been when it comes to contraception:
We honestly still havenât been able to figure out how is this even a thing. Who would even buy this, and more importantly, what are they craving? Kudos to the brand, however, advertising it in a cheeky way.
2.Â Â Â Garlic
Granted that this is not that commonly available, but again, why in the name of all things holy would you go for something like this? As a strategy to market their restaurant, the Stinking Rose did come up with a rather witty campaign. As a viable condom, though...Not so clever after all. And what happens if youâre dating a vampire?
3.Â Â Â Hyderabadi Biryani
We literally have no words for this. Just have a proper meal before getting amorous, guys, will you? Plus, weâre pretty sure that this was an April Foolâs Day prank, but what if it wasnât?
Oh, here we go again. Yes, this exists. But who even likesÂ sabudana? Is this some April FoolâsÂ dayÂ prank that pharmaceutical companies pulled on us. Imagine going to the chemist and saying, âBhaiya, sabudana dena.â
5.Â Â Eggplant
How did we not see this comingâ¦
As phallic as eggplants are in their shape, and as much as we have used it in texting, we have to agree, this one is partially on us. As much as well all loveÂ baingan ka bharta, this is proof that certain crossovers are just going a bit too far.
6.Â Â Â Bacon
Dear pharma companies, we get the need to diversify your product portfolio, but can you please not make buying condoms even more difficult than it already is? On second thoughts, we would really like the hotline number where people leave these brilliant ideas. We have some of our own.
7.Â Â Â Â Chicken Tikka Masala
As much as we all love a really good chicken tikka masala, this is just one more reason for our partners to say no. Whoever thought that having your nether regions covered with actual spice is a good idea, needs to have a word with us.
8.Â Â Â Â Weed
If the phrase, 'getting high on love' had a physical embodiment, this had to be it. Plus, weâre not sure thatÂ itsÂ the best way to go about.
9.Â Â Â Nutella
Thanks for ruining this childhood favourite of ours, guys. Thanks a lot. Yes, we get how appealing the idea must have been on paper, but some things are best left on the drawing board.
10.Â Â Â Â Scotch Whiskey
Seriously, guys? Do we really need to get alcohol into the mix? DoesnâtÂ it, anyway, makeÂ things a lot difficult?Â