If you've been familiar with the dating scenario, you'd know that women are mostly attracted to guys who're confident and sure about themselves. They want a man who can hold his own and stands out in the crowd.
Women don't mind shy guys but they don't respect them enough to want to maybe date them. Even if they date a shy guy, it'll never be because of the personality they hold, TBH. It'll only be because they're probably nice guys and can be submissive at the same time.
So, if you want to be a success with women, you will have to build on your confidence and work on that spark that attracts them to you in the first place.
Don't get me wrong. I am not saying dismiss all your positive traits and the inherent personality that you possess. I am just saying, you can do away with unrequited shyness and up the dating game a tad.
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I am going to give you a few tricks and pointers to keep up with, when you want to approach women at bars and ask them out.
It takes a lot to approach a woman you like at a bar but once you get it right, she will definitely not let you down. Unless, of course, she's on a 'girls night' out and doesn't want any male attention or she's genuinely not interested!
So, here are 5 useful tips to approach women at a bar if you're a shy guy!(1) Remember, Being Shy Isn't Cute
It works for women for sure. I mean, if a woman is shying away in front of me, I'll find her cute AF but it doesn't really work for guys as much.
Being shy is a sign of zero to no confidence and that's just off-putting for women, who're looking for something more substantial.
So in case you think you score a date on the virtue of being shy, then I think you're wrong. The key is to never assume being shy is an endearing trait!
(2) Eye Contact Helps
If you find a girl at a bar you're digging, try and make eye contact with her. Not in a creepy way, obviously, but in a more flirtatious way.
I know it's a bit tough once you're shy and shy men usually stay away from eye contact. But you're breaking away from the only thing that is holding you back on meeting women, so making eye contact is absolutely okay and harmless!
Once you establish good eye contact, you have her attention!
(3) Smile, Always!
Smiling is another way to get her attention. Again, don't be creepy about it and let the girl think you're genuinely interested in her, just through a smile.
This is a carryover of the 'eye contact' you just made. Once you do establish good eye contact, smile at her simultaneously, just to let her know you're interested in talking to her.
(4) Approach Her Steadfastly
Once you've established good eye contact and she has read your body language, it's time to approach her, without thinking twice. Do it like you're ripping a band-aid off! Quick and fearlessly! Once you do approach her, that's when the real work starts.
When you're approaching a woman at a bar, you have to let go of any preconceived notions you may have about yourself.
You have to stop second-guessing yourself or think you're appearance isn't up to mark or that you can't do it. Of course, you can! It's only a matter of patience and a lot of confidence that you have to develop over time. She actually may like you making an effort.
Most women appreciate a guy who walks up to them and starts talking, because they know it takes a certain amount of guts to do so.
Just don't be assertive with her when you approach her. That' s a huge turn-off. Be vocal, yes, but first ask her if you're intruding her space. If she replies with a yes, and that she's busy, move on. Don't stand there and try harder. It's okay to be rejected at a bar because you never know what her motive to be at the bar is, in the first place.
I know rejection is hard to handle, but once you approach her and ask her for permission to join her for the evening, it's smooth sailing from there.
If she says no, then move on and do your thing and if she says yes, then own the evening!
Being shy is just a state of mind and once you get over that, you're going to enjoy every minute of going out and meeting new people!